There are certain first date rules that should never be broken. Punctuality, avoiding swearing and not discussing politics are just a few of the things that you should remember when meeting your date for the first time.
It’s also important not to discuss your exes too early or ask too many questions about their past relationships. This can be a real turn-off for women.
1. Be on time
It’s not polite to keep someone waiting, and it can make them uncomfortable. It’s also a good idea to give yourself an out, such as telling them you have plans with friends later that night or need to leave early to pick up your dog.
Avoid checking your phone frequently, as that sends a negative message. Instead, try to be present and engaged in the conversation. Positive body language is another important factor to consider as well.
2. Be yourself
On first dates it’s important to be yourself. If you try to be something that you’re not, it will quickly show through.
Keep the conversation light. Avoid overly-generous compliments on her appearance and don’t get too serious about her background or her relationship status. Remember that most people have well-honed bullshit detectors and can easily sense when you’re trying to butter them up. They’ll also be turned off by excessive negativity. Avoid complaining about the service, traffic or your ex.
3. Don’t talk about politics
Politics is a touchy subject that’s best left off the table on a first date. You’re unlikely to change your date’s political views, and the discussion could quickly turn into a heated argument.
Instead, focus on the things you have in common such as your hobbies and passions. Talking about the TV shows you’re watching, your favourite books, and where you’ve travelled can all help you build trust and reveal more about each other. It’s also a great way to keep the conversation flowing.
4. Don’t ask for sex
Whether you’re looking for a casual relationship or something serious, it’s best to avoid discussing sex on the first date. This is one of the biggest dating etiquette no-no’s.
While some may judge you if you choose not to have sex on the first date, it’s entirely up to you. Plus, asking about sex can open a can of worms that isn’t necessary at this stage. It’s also not fair to your date. They deserve their privacy.
5. Don’t be afraid to ask questions
A little bit of research goes a long way. For example, if she tells you she loves classical music, take the opportunity to show her that you know more than just the name of some random band.
But don’t just ask standard questions like how many siblings she has. Those can get old fast, and sound like an interrogation.
Instead, come up with a few interesting follow-up questions based on her answers. This will help keep the conversation flowing naturally.
6. Be a good listener
If you want to build intimacy on a first date, you must listen. It’s a great way to show that you care about your date and their thoughts.
Listening also allows you to get to know your date better. You may find that they are passionate about certain issues, or that their interests are completely different to your own.
Don’t be afraid to talk about these topics – just don’t spend too much time trash-talking your ex!
7. Go with the flow
It’s important to remember that a first date isn’t necessarily for you to decide whether or not you want to date again. While being punctual, displaying great table manners and some chivalry are all parts of dating etiquette, it’s also okay to end the date early if you don’t think things are going well.
It’s fine to talk about TV shows, movies and books with your date, but rehashing your last breakup or spending all night texting her can make you seem desperate.
8. Don’t lead them on
Unless you really feel that the date is going well, avoid leading them on. This is a big no-no in dating etiquette.
It can be tempting to ask your date lots of questions and interrogate them, but this will only make them nervous and uncomfortable. Try to avoid asking too many questions and listen to their answers.
If you want to see your date again, don’t just say “let’s get together” – suggest a specific time and location. This will show them that you’re interested and not just a bit too eager to please.