Every lesbian has at least one ex that she would take back in 0.5 seconds if she could (and she probably does, at least covertly). This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it can cause some friction.
Some people have a hard time separating their partner from their friends, especially if the friend group is predominantly lesbian. This is a sign of a toxic relationship.
1. You’re Attracted to Every Lesbian You Meet
Sometimes, it seems like there’s a lesbian everywhere you look. And it’s not just because they’re pretty. It’s because you know that they’re a lesbian, and that’s just enough to make you want them.
One of the great things about lesbian and queer culture is that there’s a lot of gender nuances and differences to explore. This can be confusing, or even scary at first. But over time, it can be a fantastic way to expand your sexual and identity possibilities.
This is why it’s so important to find a community of people who share your interests. Spend time on social activities that bring out the queerness in you, and it’s a good bet that you’ll meet other women who share your enthusiasm. For example, join a women’s sports team or go to concerts featuring LGBT musicians. Just make sure you’re able to tell friends apart from potential romantic partners. If you can’t, you may be having problems with jealousy.
2. You’re Still In Love With Your Ex
Seeing your ex on social media, hearing their name in conversation with a friend, or just thinking about them too much is a sign that you’re not over them. You may need some serious sleuthing from the people around you to determine how bad your situation is, but a good sign of progress is having your friends, family, and even new romantic partners tell you that your thoughts are starting to shift away from your ex and into something more productive.
Another major red flag is having your ex on speed dial when you need someone to talk to. And, if you’re always talking about your ex to anyone and everyone, it might be time to let go of the friendship. Keeping them on your mind will only cause you pain as they start dating someone else and it’ll make you reluctant to date in the future, which can be a problem in its own right.
3. You’re Having Trouble Keeping Track of Who’s F*cked Who
Everyone knows that break ups are rough, but when it’s with your girlfriend and you’ve dated her ex-girlfriend too, well, it gets even more complicated. Keeping track of all your ex-girlfriends, and then remembering who you’ve fucked with them in the past is something that most lesbians have to deal with at some point. During the boat scene when the back-half of Girlfriends hits the climax, it becomes clear that all the arguments between the girls are coming to a head. It’s almost like a Realty Television argument. Only a little bit sexier. (via Drag Race)
This article originally appeared on the HuffPost and has been updated.
4. You’ve Got a Lot of Exes
There’s a good chance that your lesbian girlfriend has slept with a lot of women. Not only is this a part of her personal history, but it’s also probably true of the majority of her friends. The tiny size of most lesbian communities makes it likely that every woman has at least one ex, if not many more. Whether or not these exes are in cahoots, it can seem that they’re always coming back around at the same time. Psychologists suggest that this is because ending shorter relationships can be more painful than leaving a long-term partnership. They want their new squeeze to know about this, so they talk about the past with them.
